| It's time for change |
[May. 28th, 2007|06:44 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  discontent | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | here we are -- breaking benjamin | ] |
this is my life.
you dont need to watch me. you dont need to tell me what to do. if i fuck up then its my fuck up, not yours. stop leading my life the way you want me to live. im sick of pretending to be someone im not just to please you. let me live my life the way i want, let me choose who i want to be with, what i want to do, where i want to go. its doing nothing but making me angry, it makes me dislike you even more. stop making me do things just because they make you happy. what about my happiness? you tell me its out of love, yes i can see that, but it is also out of selfeshness. stubborness. i grow tired of this.
that is your religion.
these are my beliefs. stop trying to drill your thoughts and beliefs into my life. forcing me isnt going to help anything. i view god as a dreaded chore because of what you have done. shoving religion down someones throat is not a way to make them like it. im sorry, it doesnt work like that. i dont want to go out of my way to please something that im not even sure exists. hes never talked to me, showed me something to make me believe. you say he does wonderful things all the time. ive never seen anything. heard anything, felt anything..
these are my feelings.
as much as you want me to give her up. i wont. i cant. as much as you tell me its lust, a want for sex. just a girl to be able to call and make out with. its not like that. thats not how i view her. yes we both have done some things we arent proud of, but we've moved on. this isnt like the other relationships we've been in. its not a physical longing for the opposite sex, its an emotional attachment that you cannot just take away. you cant say "stop" and expect me to be okay with it. im in love. and it's not just erin. its a place to work, the way i talk, anything that doesnt please your god. he isnt my god.. i am also perfectly capable of making sound choices by myself. i wouldnt do anything that i know for a fact is bad for me. you dont want to believe that. you think im a punk ass kid who just longs to go out and have sex with ever girl i see, smoke, drink, drug it up. partying all day and night and destroying my life isnt something i long for, despite what you obviously think.
you probably wont ever read this, but this is the way i feel right now. i want to tell you. but you wont understand. you dont want to understand. you want me to be your perfect child who does everything you ask. who doesnt do anything wrong in your eyes. im not perfect. im me. i want to have a good relationship with you, i dont want you to hate me, i dont want to hate you. to move out and never talk to you again. i love you. but i want you to let go. let me live my life the way i see fit. please.. |
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| assassin guild at your fingertips |
[Apr. 14th, 2007|02:05 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  fuck you | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Chevelle - Vena Sera | ] |
everything is setup for next year. he'll regret doing this. oh yeah nevermind he wont... |
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| hahaha |
[Apr. 8th, 2007|11:12 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  lazy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | the tv | ] |
i have to get up at 5:30 tomorrow. i am so glad i don't have to be around me when i wake up... |
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| idk |
[May. 19th, 2005|04:07 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | nothin | ] |
idk what to say.....i went swimming today?....yea...i was diving....in the 4 foot end....it was...fun...yea...r u bore yet?....btw, my elbows kill from ramming the ground, take the lifegaurds advise, haha. dive in the deep end! ok so yea im super bored now, still typing though...i was up at 1:45 in the morning thinkin to myself "oohh the space battle prolly just started...oooo"....so yea, i wanna go to MA right now....i miss all the people....oh well, POOL PARTY!!!...not. hahaha. dang it, im bored bye |
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| noothin |
[May. 11th, 2005|10:20 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  mischievous | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | sevendust-face to face | ] |
im bored and i dont really wanna do this, but shannon is making me. ok so yea fine day, boring but fine. i found out today im going to the 12:01 showing of star wars(yeehaa!!) so yea, that should be fun. im quite happy actually, cuz this wasn't made by me, i had it all done for rme, i feel so special. so aiight, im out. |
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| First of not so many... |
[May. 9th, 2005|06:50 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | horny | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Disturbed - Stupified. | ] |
yay. Im dan. and this is my first update. =D okay...I wont lie this is actually Kitty cause dan is to lazy. but thats cool. I dont know what Dan is doing at this moment or what he is thinking. But I love him! yay. hes awesome..and thats all there is to it!
~Danizzle |
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